Island Cricket

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

SLC Junior High

Yesterday at around noon, Mahela and Kumar Sangakkara become victims of another vicious attack by the play ground bullies. The bullies threw their toys on the floor and chucked their lunches into the sandbox.

Mahela and Kumar had been so looking forward to their chicken sandwiches but had to go home in tears.

When the PTA meeting was called to find out why these two are being bullied so much, Mahela's rich dad and mommy showed up in raging anger.

They asked the rest of the parents "Why are you abusing our son ? Just because he is the captain of the cricket team it does not mean you can bully him like this.

He is a very sensitive boy and his feelings have been deeply hurt."

When a heckler made a comment about the size of Mahelas eyebrows, Mahela started weeping and cried out for his mother.

At this point, Kumar's father stepped in "Listen here, I am Kumars father and I am a very important man and I know more big words than Kumar, so you will listen to what I say.

Our boys just want to play cricket for their country in a peaceful manner. Why are you sending them bouncer after bouncer like this. It is wrong..". As his voice got groggy and eyes started to well up, his wife put a loving arm around him and his son and asked who ever it was to own up.

It was then that Rex's dad stood up.

"Ok fine, it was my son. But you know why no body likes your son?"

"You say he is the captain of our team but we found out he has been secretly playing for the team across the road"

"Has he no sense of loyalty or does he only care about maximising his profit making opportunities". said Rex's dad.

"My son bullied your son and I'm proud of it.". Rex stood up at this point, beaming.

The rest of the parents yelled "Amen to that !!".

Kumar and Mahela clung to each other, sobbing uncontrollably, snot and drool wetting their tight fitted t-shirts.

"Please just leave us alone...we just want to play cricket....sob...we only wanted to make some money...is that so wrong..sob..sob...".

"It was Arjuna who told us we could play for the other team".

It was then that, Jabba the hut, Arjuna's dad, said "My son said no such thing ! How dare you little rich rascals accuse my son !"

Someone throws a chair at Jabba the hut, which bounces off his belly and hits Rex square in the face. Who throws a rotten tomato at Kumar and Mahela.

A fight breaks out...

Thus ends another day at SLC Junior High.

by DamithS


8 Comments:

Sujan Rao (sanath189) said...

I adore you're writing skills Damith. You're truly gifted. Nice article :)

Damith S. said...

Thanks Sujan !

Damith S. said...

Thanks Sujan!

Anonymous said...

Cricket fans world around are cheering their country, heroes and their performances right now; India just beat England. Pakistan have moved on from Moh'd Yousuf & just beat the WIs. Aussies & Kiwis are getting ready for action & everyone is eagerly waiting for the return of Roy. Banglas have moved on from the ICL rebels & are fighting hard in South Africa, which, unfortunately leave us, Sri Lanka, as the only other full member in action & what have we as fans got to cheer about >>> controversy, controversy, controversy >>> money /// IPL /// who is in charge, who is the mafia, who is the victim, everything under the sun but cricket. How long have this been going on now ?, begun mid of the Indian series but no one was bothered then cause we were all in another world with Ajanta Mendis (the only reason we are cricket crazy in the first place. to see & cheer our heroes like we did him). How much longer are we going to focus on all this shit happening around us and not cricket. Being Lankan we should know it will be a while cause when it comes to money, ego and who's in charge, we Sri Lankans wont let go till the other is dead & buried, if it has to be that. In this case, by being whom we are, we are simply risking to destroy arguably the finest national heritages we hold right now; "quality cricket"... Shame on us, so cheap we have become, all, left right, bullshitters for big money is my opinion.

Mahela in his latest interview 9 Nov says "We don't have much international cricket in the next six months or so and we need to take whatever opportunities that come our way." adds "Unlike some countries we don't have a particular season for international cricket. These countries secure the summer period to play their sports and travel abroad during the winter," Jayawardene said. "This is where we need to be a bit smarter and try and reciprocate with other boards to ensure we have a regular flow of international cricket at home and abroad. Unfortunately it is not the case."... Can someone tell me what he really stands for or what the hell is he trying to say. Is trying to say he misses winter. Is he talking through his rear or front is what I am trying to figure out, duper (are they) !!!!

When do we talk about cricket & the stunning innings Mahela played, now that even the Hong Kong 6s are too over for us, < sobbing >.

Funny stuff Damith, pity Lionel Mendis (Mendis sir) is not a part of it.

Damith S. said...

Annon> Thanks for your comment.

You should have read my post called just fix it.

Im fucking sick of all this too, so all I can do is laugh at all these issues and take the piss.

If your keen on following the Zim series drop by here
www.theflyslip.net

Anonymous said...

thanks Damith. lol, Zim just held us to a draw eh.

Anonymous said...

not funny neither intrstin!! just sooooo lame!!

Damith S. said...

Annon> I would take you seriously if you could actually spell or had a grasp of basic grammar mate.

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